Zeusblog

My son is nine years old and I’m constantly amazed by the things that he and his friends get obsessed with, and the way that these things are created and marketed. It seems that these things go through a cycle: they start to appear and arouse interest; everybody starts to collect them; they pass the kiddy-crack threshold and everybody gets completely obsessed with them to the point that the inevitable jealousies, falling-outs and sometimes fights bring them to the attention of the head teacher, who bans them from school; they then fade and die, to be replaced by the new fad. I’m not talking about merchandise related to a film or TV programme, although pestered parents do spend an awful lot of money on High School Musical tat for a bit of peace and quiet, I’m talking about things that are created purely to exploit this collect and obsess mechanism.

Smelly pencils

The current must-have items that are on the way to being obsessively collected at my son’s school, believe it or not, are Smencils. What are Smencils? Why they’re pencils that smell, of course. The item fading out of favour are GO-GOs, tiny plastic characters, which I have to say, are quite funky actually. I like GO-GOs, but I’m not nine, so that’s irrelevant. And the Oh-So-Over items are Match Attax football cards.

GO-GOs protecting my car from the forces of evil

They all have something in common, which is that they are available for pocket money prices, typically around a pound a pack, and that they are collectable. They usually have some kind of upgrade halfway through their shelf-life to give sales another push, for example GO-GOs produced GO-GO Evolution models, which were the same as the other ones, but with sparkly plastic.

There are several things that amaze me about this kiddy crack marketing. Such as how can you possibly tell what’s going to work? You might expect Match Attax cards to sell, since football is so popular. GO-GOs? Well they are quite funky, but I was quite surprised at how they took off with boys. But Smencils? Why rough-and-tumble, mud-covered boys want pencils that smell of grapes is quite beyond me.

How do they get the fads started? It’s not ads. I doubt they are using eight-year old thought leaders and early adopters to spearhead the trend. It’s a mystery to me.

The manufacturers must have to be very confident. They have to have millions of the things made and the distribution side all primed as the window of opportunity is so small. Maybe there are warehouses full of bad ideas that didn’t work. And how do the sales reps prime the newsagents? “Trust me on this but the next must-have item is a pencil that smells…”

It’s all a mystery to me, but I’d really love to think of the next one…

Chalky